Quick De-stressing Tools
What I offer here are Quick Tools for instant relief, from many wonderful inspirational sources I’ve been privileged to learn about over the past decade and more.
I know these tools will help you relax quickly when you feel stressed and strained. They can be used in addition to longer-term tools for achieving ease and comfort, like ‘Mindfulness Meditation’. And they can become similarly effective if practised long-term as well [no matter how little you feel like doing so].The more you practise being relaxed enough, the more you will be an Olympian-level de-stressor and be able to avoid unnecessary and harmful stress in any situation.
Even Quick Tools can only work if you apply them consistently, especially when you don’t feel like it!
Good Stress [eu-stress] vs Bad Stress [di-stress]:
We need stimulant chemicals like adrenaline to experience excitement, focus, fun, success, etc. – all very necessary for us to have great, joyful, passionate, exalted, effective and still ‘chilled’ lives. This is called eu-stress: we love it and benefit from the chemicals associated with engrossing activities. And we can also experience adrenaline and other steroids as negative stress [distress], for instance in panic attacks, fear, rage, anxiety, jealousy, or ‘jittery’ reactions.
There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” [from ‘Hamlet’ – Shakespeare].
The same basic chemical-combinations are released when we experience excitement and ecstasy, as when we experience terror and rage. Some people scream with delight when they ride a roller-coaster; some scream with terror. It’s the same stimulating event, but some of us believe we’ll die [me too!] and others believe they’re having the greatest fun ever.
We can choose not to remain victims of learnt habits that make us feel mad, bad, sad, and scared. We can choose - each time we are tempted to enjoy the stimulation or comfort of misery – to use Tools to make us feel Good instead. Even if just for a few minutes initially: Nothing succeeds like Success: a few repetitions can help our unconscious mind change a belief of ‘nothing can help’ into ‘I can be helped’.
It’s the pictures and movies you play in your mind that control your emotions, not reality.
Sample of Quick De-stressing Tools:
Smile and laugh:
Yes, I know you don’t feel like laughing when you’re sad or mad or scared etc., but remember Olympic Gold requires diligence, not indulgence! You CAN change your leaden feelings into golden ones very quickly by pulling your mouth into a split similar to a smile or even grimace – who cares!
Each time you do that and keep it in that position, your brain ‘understands’ that you are in a happy, safe space and will instantly send feel-good chemicals to your whole body, so that you will soon actually feel better!
Move enthusiastically and vigorously:
Many clients become anxious when their habitual active lifestyle is prevented [for instance by injury, illness, extra responsibilities, lack of space, impaired freedom of choice, etc.]. If nothing else is possible, do jumping jacks or sit and swing your legs, or ‘dance’ with arms and head, or role your eyes while sticking your tongue in and out, or tighten and relax various muscles in your body, etc. Remember repeating ‘I am free’ and ‘I can move’ are decisions, just as ‘I am helpless’, ‘I have no time’, and ‘I’m overwhelmed’ are.
Ask ‘generative’ or ‘positive-outcome’ questions:
My whole life changed when I listened to teleseminars that teach us to ask generative questions [see my article on “Access Consciousness”]. I have been teaching the Access Consciousness™ skills to many others too and amazing shifts have occurred.
Here are some examples of typical questions you can ask every day, 30 times or more; you don’t have to answer them, just keep asking. This will generate better possibilities and choices for your life in your conscious and unconscious mind,and should decrease negative stress very rapidly:
- “How does it get even better than this?”
- “What else is possible?”
- “What generative energy, space and consciousness can I Be to experience peace and joy every day?”
Be grateful - Count your blessings:
One of the “25 Ways to beat the stress in your life” published by the Hope Heart Foundation of Seattle, Washington, is: “For every one thing that goes wrong in your life, there are 50 – 100 blessings: Count them.” We tend to repeat each thing that goes wrong 50 – 100 times, instead! Thus we create not only distressed mind states but also negative outcomes in our future.
Instead, handwrite, or speak aloud with strong emotion, 100 things you can be grateful for in any case, e.g., being able to walk/afford a taxi/having a place to stay/having a job/being able to hear or see birds sing/having friends/being able to eat/being alive/being able to listen to the radio or music player, watch tv, go out to a pleasant place,socialise/have clothes you enjoy – list them!/have pets or objects you enjoy – list them/being able to use your hands to wash or feed yourself or rescue penguins/being able to use a toilet or play tennis, jog, dance, paint, or swim/being insured/etc.
Lynn Grabhorn suggests we find 10 things to ‘marvel’ at when we have allowed ourselves to feel distress. Focus on mundane things, like a brick or nail file, and give many reasons why each is so ‘marvellous’.
Do something USEFUL with your time:
Has worrying ever improved a situation? No. It just saps all your energy and generative abilities to create options for your life or solutions for the problems. Your brain gets you stuck in Flight, Freeze or Fight mode. NOT useful if you want to solve a problem at human experience level!
I teach my clients to ask “How useful is this?” whenever they feel di-stress of any kind. Does worry, shame, guilt, frustration, despair, help the blind to see and the lame to walk? Choose to do something useful instead. Rest, do filing, feed the birds, wash the dishes, design an evening gown, jog, phone a friend, save a whale, etc. Do anything that will at least not worsen your mood and make you more ineffective.
Or go see a shrink…
And if you’re lucky they’ll teach you these and other techniques!
For the full article and more techniques, please visit:
For enquiries, please phone Reinette Steyn at 021 555-4248 [office hours]
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