ISSUES TO DISCUSS BEFORE MARRYING

This article was submitted by Jill Davey - Counsellors and Practitioners of Reconnective Healing and The Reconnection


Some things to discuss before getting married:


 


1.             What your expectations are of marriage, i.e. my partner will change for the better after we are married, how do I think things will be different when we’re married?


2.             Issues regarding your partner’s personality, i.e. temper, domineering


3.             Communicating, i.e. I have trouble expressing my feelings to my partner


4.             Conflict management, i.e. when angry, my partner wont discuss things with me


5.             Finances, i.e. how will this be organised, what accounts will we have, who will pay the bills, how does my spouse handle money?


6.             Leisure time, i.e. how often will we play sports, together or with other people?


7.             Sex, i.e. are we sexually compatible and can we talk about how we feel, how often do I want sex in relation to my partner?


8.             Children and parenting, i.e. do I want children and how many, how do we differ in our visualized parenting styles, disciplining?


9.             Family and friends, i.e. how often will we see our respective families,  how do we divide holiday times, when and how often will we socialize with friends, what will I do if my spouse doesn’t like one of my friends, will we vacation together, how often?


10.          Role relationship, i.e. how will we divide the household chores, what will I agree to do if I feel my spouse is not co-operating?


11.          Spiritual beliefs, i.e. will we go to church together, if not, how will that affect me? Do we have similar beliefs?  What would I feel if our beliefs differed?


12.          Values, i.e. how does my value system and set of principles differ from those of my spouse?


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